Introductions - Day 4

 It's midnight and I have given up and gone to bed. Ruth is still tidying and sorting out the house for tomorrow when Raina comes to see her new home for the first time. Since introductions started we have barely been at home but when we have we have certainly not felt inclined to wash up / tidy up etc..... Well today we arrived at the FC's house a bit late- we were so tired this morning it was untrue. Raina was dressed and soon after arrival we walked the FC's youngest child to the bus stop with Raina to go to school.  We feel much more comfortable walking outside now than on the first day or day two; she is getting better at following our instructions.  Everyone was so tired when we got back to the house, it became a bit like melt-down central. The FC also has a 1 year old baby and her and Raina attempted  to 'out cry' each other!  Raina wouldn't have a nap, she fought it despite everyone else wanting to sleep. By about 10:30am, it felt like it was 4pm! We decided to gather up some energy and to take Raina to the park and out for lunch.  Raina is good at getting her shoes and jacket on and likes to help her Mummies to do theirs as well. The other baby tried to get involved but Raina wouldn't allow her and said "that's my Mummy's jacket", which was very cute! It also showed us that she does understand the difference between calling someone Mummy as their name and calling someone Mummy because they are their Mother for attachment. We have learnt that children (especially young ones) call their FC's 'Mum'. This is more true for FC's who have their own children. For such a young age Raina has had so many people care for her basic needs that it is all too confusing. Poor little mite still has to move in with us and then cope with things we change to be in line with our parenting style - slowly slowly. We took Raina on the bus and the train. We are trying to put her on a toilet every 30 mins, which means we have now encountered a few baby change set-up's, some better than others - shame on you M&S!!!! We had lunch and whilst Mummy Ruth was in the toilet, Raina decided to try running off.  She threw herself on the floor and shrieked saying "ouch, get off me!". This was horrible and I started to feel out of my depth. I know she's only 2, I am the parent in that aforementioned scenario; however, it's so hard to know how to manage this behaviour with a child whos only known me a couple of days.  Mummy Ruth helped to calm (me) and Raina down. We have a routine where if one of us has told Raina off and she is not listening or she has run off to the other we do not speak to Raina first but ask the other 'What happened Mummy?'. That way we would know whether consoling her or repeating what she has been told is in the cards. There is the habit of her running to another person to try and get away from doing what she has been asked to do. So anyone out there looking after Raina please continue this.  We then spent 45mins playing in a park. Leaving the park was a lot easier than it was in day 2 so yea both of us!!  The weird moment came when we had to change Raina's nappy. It was another smelly gift for her Mummies. We asked another parent if there was changing facilities in the park; she said no but the way she saw it is if the LA can't provide facilities then just do it on a bench somewhere. We agreed so wandered off to find a bench out of the way. We were much better the second time around (being in the open air sure helped!) and it was swift and pain-free for all concerned. The weirdness of it?; as we walked away, we realised we had just changed Raina on the very same bench where we had sat with our SW during an assessment session. We had come away from that session feeling a million miles away from the approval panel, let alone parenthood. Nice moment for us both.  Another thing we realised is that the grounds is also where we met many moons ago.  For the remainder of the afternoon  we played and started talking to her about coming home to leave with us. Talking about our area what she will find to do etc. Mummy Hannah fed, bathed and put her to bed. This went very smoothly even though there was a full house of interesting people that Raina wanted to stay up with - FC's eldest daughter, her partner and little daughter.  We had agreed to continue contact with Raina's FC' family. We think they are not believing us as sometimes the FC or one of her children or even FC's brothers would ask us again and again. One can see that they love Raina ever so much. This is reassuring for us as if they were eager to move her out alarm bells would be ringing in our heads. However, it has also made it extra difficult (emotionally) to do things our way because they are so good at it and Raina knows they can also meet her needs. You just feel like you are on a test. That is why we have made sure we take Raina out as often as possible.  All in all it was  7 out 10 today. Exciting times ahead.