Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I think we have just arrived at the difficult week that social workers implied to look out for in week 6/7 - bearing in mind that we are in week 12. Apparently it is heavily researched that weeks 6 and 7 of placement things really kick off for the child/ren.
All we can say is 'OMG'! Nothing can prepare you for it. And I would not wish my enemy to go through it.
Tuesday 21 August 2012
Sunday 5 August 2012
10 weeks now...
Another milestone has passed us by, our family has been home together for 10 weeks. Raina is definitely more settled with each day and each week that has passed us by.
We had the 2nd LAC Review last week and this time Raina was awake, so the SW's and the Chair got to see her this time! She was on good form; practising her alphabet, playing and laughing and reading her books. The SW's are happy with us and with Raina's development so far. They want us to move ahead with the adoption order as soon as possible but we don't feel in a rush to do it yet; ten weeks is really not very long in reality and we don't feel ready yet to say goodbye to Social Services completely yet....there are some remaining issues we need to resolve (life story book/work, meeting birth parents etc).
We have not met Raina's BP's. We want to, but it couldn't happen before matching as SS's had security concerns about us meeting up. This would just be them and us; without Raina. We share some information, ask questions and ensure that a photograph is taken to show Raina that we met and be able to talk about the meeting for years to come. We still want to meet up and would also ideally opt for direct contact in the future for the BP's and Raina with us in attendance; but following the LAC meeting some doubts have set in, as we have learnt that her BP's are not in a good place themselves at the moment. Therefore contact in all forms is on hold for now, including the 'one-off' meeting. We really hope that things are sorted out so that at the very least we can meet her BP's........
At the LAC review we also discussed meeting the Foster Family again and confirmed that SS's have now agreed that this can happen. They had originally said no; feeling that Raina was too vulnerable for this to happen, we did not agree and passionately conveyed how we felt this was not the case and that Raina needed the contact to help her make sense of what has happened to her.
So this weekend we met up and it was really wonderful. We went to an indoor soft-play centre so Raina could play with the other three children. Raina was so happy to see them and play with them; but it was clear that it was me and Momma who were her primary caregivers now; as she came to us when she needed anything. The 2 hours flew past and it came to leaving time. We took a few photos of Raina with the other children for posterity and exchanged hugs. Raina held her hand out for mine and said "bye bye" to the Foster Family. The three of us walked away and Raina did not look back; she did not cry and her behaviour has been consistently good today. It would appear that any negative impact is minimal, if non existent. We know she really enjoyed it and appreciated it in her own way (although she could never articulate this so we say it for her and she nods and smile). We are so glad we pushed the SW's on this issue; it was completely in her best interest and we are sure will fundamentally deepen our relationship with Raina, in turn helping her to settle that little bit more.
We had the 2nd LAC Review last week and this time Raina was awake, so the SW's and the Chair got to see her this time! She was on good form; practising her alphabet, playing and laughing and reading her books. The SW's are happy with us and with Raina's development so far. They want us to move ahead with the adoption order as soon as possible but we don't feel in a rush to do it yet; ten weeks is really not very long in reality and we don't feel ready yet to say goodbye to Social Services completely yet....there are some remaining issues we need to resolve (life story book/work, meeting birth parents etc).
We have not met Raina's BP's. We want to, but it couldn't happen before matching as SS's had security concerns about us meeting up. This would just be them and us; without Raina. We share some information, ask questions and ensure that a photograph is taken to show Raina that we met and be able to talk about the meeting for years to come. We still want to meet up and would also ideally opt for direct contact in the future for the BP's and Raina with us in attendance; but following the LAC meeting some doubts have set in, as we have learnt that her BP's are not in a good place themselves at the moment. Therefore contact in all forms is on hold for now, including the 'one-off' meeting. We really hope that things are sorted out so that at the very least we can meet her BP's........
At the LAC review we also discussed meeting the Foster Family again and confirmed that SS's have now agreed that this can happen. They had originally said no; feeling that Raina was too vulnerable for this to happen, we did not agree and passionately conveyed how we felt this was not the case and that Raina needed the contact to help her make sense of what has happened to her.
So this weekend we met up and it was really wonderful. We went to an indoor soft-play centre so Raina could play with the other three children. Raina was so happy to see them and play with them; but it was clear that it was me and Momma who were her primary caregivers now; as she came to us when she needed anything. The 2 hours flew past and it came to leaving time. We took a few photos of Raina with the other children for posterity and exchanged hugs. Raina held her hand out for mine and said "bye bye" to the Foster Family. The three of us walked away and Raina did not look back; she did not cry and her behaviour has been consistently good today. It would appear that any negative impact is minimal, if non existent. We know she really enjoyed it and appreciated it in her own way (although she could never articulate this so we say it for her and she nods and smile). We are so glad we pushed the SW's on this issue; it was completely in her best interest and we are sure will fundamentally deepen our relationship with Raina, in turn helping her to settle that little bit more.
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