Coming up for air...

It's been a really nice weekend, Raina has been well behaved and this last week she has been really fun to spend time with.  She's got her own quirky sense of humour which is serving to make us both fall in love with her even more.  As we lay in bed on Saturday morning listening to Raina reading her nursery rhymes out loud, we remarked how much calmer she has been lately.  Momma recalled Raina's CPR, which outlined that her adoptive parents would need "strong boundaries and regular, predictable routine and structure".  We agreed that the social workers account of her needs were spot on and furthermore; Raina was starting to thrive because of it.

She's had her fair share of tantrums - the worst week was a while back when Momma's blog entry summed up our despair nicely.  Raina had a 2 weeks long melt-down; completely unable to control her emotions and regulate herself.  She was violent, towards us both and herself (she still has the scars to prove it) she wouldn't sleep, destroyed everything in her bedroom and at her lowest point stood at the top of the stairs rattling the stair gate and swore at us for half an hour like a crazed animal. Not cute. Not nice. Not something we want to experience again.

But we have all forgiven and moved on.

Raina celebrated her 3rd birthday with us last weekend and it was a wonderful day.  Obviously our thoughts were with the birth parents and wider family on this bittersweet occasion.  We are hoping to meet the birth parents soon - within the next week or so and have been planning some questions to ask them.  This is quite daunting but we are also looking forward to it so we can look back in later years and tell Raina about the day we met her birth parents.

Time

Our previous post needs further explanation, but I cannot tackle that topic right now. Other to say that we have come out the other side and survived.

Time

Time used to be often made up of activities as opposed to units of time. Watching tv for "a bit", having a rest for "a while", grabbing a quick coffee, killing a few hours over a meal etc...

This was all BR; 'before Raina'. Now time is more like a tap left running or sand through a timer, it runs away from you and from the moment you wake up your are trying to chase it like you are running a race against it (with time always having a head start on you and always being the fitter, leaner and healthier athlete) In the battle against time; being on time; having time; we are eternal losers.  One the other hand, time is a champion, which is always like a dot on the horizon ahead of you, mocking you by creeping up on you and silently showing you that you have 'run out of time'. 

Our lives have become like a rolling episode of the Krypton Factor; without the team coloured track suits. Parenting is problem solving in action. Starting with a detailed plan, having a back up just incase, having to think on your feet and always thinking at least two steps ahead. 

Our brains are tired and our bodies are ragged representations of their former selves. I think we have arrived at destination parenthood.