Four weeks

So four days done back at work and four weeks of being a forever family.  Funny how my priorities have shifted so much since Raina came along. I'm not so stressed by work and I find it even easier than I used to to switch off completely when I walk out the office door. I really miss Raina when I'm gone. I have taken to standing outside her bedroom door (left ajar throughout the night) and listening to her snoring for a moment before leaving for the day. She's a real snorer!!!  I am pleased to say that the potty training has really improved in the last week and especially so in the last few days. Raina has been dry throughout the whole night the last four nights - and is managing to stay dry most of the time in the day. It's so cute to see how excited she gets when she realises she has left us presents in the potty (as opposed to on the floor!).   Our SW says this is a very positive sign and that emotionally  healthy children have an innate desire to please their parents, so this shows that there is a positive attachment forming.  This wanting to please us has slowly extended to other areas; such as less tantrums and her doing things without us having to ask, because she is remembering the way things are done with us.    Raina is asking about her birth parents on at least a daily basis.  Whereas once the question was "Daddy?"; now she is making statements that will require us to take the conversation onto the next level before too many more weeks / months.  We know that an adopted child's thirst for information about their birth parents and early life can be unquenchable.  We are re-reading 'Adoption Conversations: How, when and what to tell children'.   This is helping us to consider how we can phrase information that is age-appropriate for Raina to understand.   All in all it feels like we are really getting into 'it' now; the job of parenting our daughter.  I think that we are both beginning to feel that we have a 'claim' to Raina.  When we first met her; in all honesty sometimes I felt like a sub-standard replacement for her Foster Family.  When we met the Health visitor at home a week ago; Ruth referred to Raina's birth parents as her 'parents'.  The HV said, "You're her parents. It hasn't sunk in yet has it?". She was right, it really hadn't.   It's starting to now.  I remember the adoption team manager saying to us on the first day of introductions; "go into this time with confidence. Raina is waiting for you to claim her. You have every right to stake your claim for her now.".  Im not sure how other adopters have felt; but we didn't feel that we had that right from the beginning, partly because you feel you are being judged by everyone involved in the child's life.  Those people are gradually fading into the background. Raina's SW wants to go from weekly meetings to monthly ones now, so we are really being given the space to get on with parenthood.  I've got the day off tomorrow. Raina will be asleep when I get home but I can't wait to see her in the morning and spend the day together.  A month in and I am feeling that Raina coming into my life has given me purpose like nothing else before.