So once the Application Form was submitted, we were allocated a Social Worker. We were happy that it was a Social Worker who had been running the Preparation Group too. It helped to put us at ease as it felt like we already knew her a little bit and also that she had a basic idea about who we are and what we are about.
April 2011 was a big month for us. We had a two-week trip of a lifetime to the US, bought ourselves our first car and began our assessment with our first social work visit!
We were very nervous about the first visit and it wasn't helped by both of us suffering with jet-lag!!! Despite this, we were running on adrenelin and our Social Worker helped to put us at ease. We discussed the process again so we were clear about what we could expect and we also began to work towards getting the information needed for the Prospective Adopters Report / Form F. We began by covering things like our individual family tree's, previous relationships and our relationship together.
It felt like an odd way to 'get to know' our Social Worker but it didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable.
Since our first visit we have had two individual meetings. In these, we met seperately with our Social Worker and discussed our life journeys, including earliest memories, childhood events and strengths and weaknesses or our relationship together.
Recently we had another visit at home and this is now a total of 4. We are expecting there to be at least another 4 and may be looking at completing the assessment by December 2011.
This feels quite scary, we are putting our faith in our Social Worker to guide us through this process. The process, is quite rightfully a full analysis of our relationship together and of us as individuals. You cannot overlook any aspects of your personality and implications of this on us (as a couple and as individuals) and on any potential children. We know the implications of not getting this completely right do not bear thinking about.....we are both happy to go slowly and explore each issue or hiccup fully. Each visit makes us feel envigorated and more confident about our capacity to parent and be considered "good enough" at panel and, in time, by our child's Social Worker in the matching stage.
By embracing the process we are also becoming more focused about what our limitations might be as adoptive parents (e.g. caring for a child with a disabilty, a child who has foetal alcohol syndrome or a child that has experienced sexual abuse etc).
Onwards and upwards.....
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