Big Week! Almost 8 months!

This week marked a significant change in our family and a milestone for Raina.  

This week Raina has started nursery.  On Wednesday she did a long day, with breakfast at 8am and we picked her up after dinner at 6pm.  When Momma and I picked her up she looked a total mess, like she was casting for a role in the living dead.  She was full of a heavy cold (this child is rarely ill).  She was proudly wearing lace-up boots which we had never seen before. We asked her why she was wearing them and she told us they were hers. "No, Raina, these are your shoes" Momma said holding out her pair of shoes left out on the side.  

The worker interjects to tell us, "I've got two accident forms to give you".  Ah, excellent, this is just getting better.  Raina's fingers had been trapped in a door and the guinea pig, Coco, has inflicted a large scratch across her hand.  We sign the forms and debrief with the worker. She asks us to remind her what Raina calls us, we let her know that Ruth is Momma and I am Mummy.  She then tells us that she heard Raina calling the male SENCO worker, Daddy.  We try to explain how this is just a word and she knows that he's not her Daddy, because she knows her Daddy.  Her Daddy is Black, about 50 years old and lives in another city.  The SENCO worker looks to be early 20's and is White.  

Im starting to consider that maybe Raina is delirious as I look in her rucksack and see she has not drunk a drop of water from her bottle...... grrrrrrr. We get ready to leave and Rainas coat appears to be missing.  "Where's your coat?" I ask. "Don't know....".  The Worker vows to search high and low for it tomorrow. Anyway we leave the nursery, with a heavy cold, war wounds and no coat ( it's about -1 outside) so to get home quicker we make her run home with us, only 2 minutes around the corner. A drink of water, Vicks rub on her chest and Calpol (a parents best friend) and the child is asleep in 5 minutes. 

Phewwww! This new routine is taking some getting used to all round!!!

Guest Posting from Uncle & Aunty

So a while back was a milestone....we left Raina for the first time in the care of other people and found ourselves alone!!! Uncle and Aunty offered to take Raina out to a Local Sea Life Centre and we happily accepted.  We dropped her off, I think we were more emotional about it, she was oblivious! We resisted the temptation to follow them around and to lurk in the shadows and we left the building and headed off to do something adult (for a change!). We visited an art gallery and had a coffee.  We tried but we couldn't help talking about Raina (and the potential of another adoption in the future, are we mad!?!) Anyway, Uncle and Aunty are the Guest Bloggers for this post so over to them!

When we first met Raina that day she was cold yet still very excited to see the penguins. As expected there were various warnings regarding Raina's diet such as no peanuts, no ice cream, regular toilet breaks but the one we especially liked was not to look into her eyes, which made us wonder what super powers Raina may possess lol.

The day started off by walking over a glass floor with fish and sharks swimming underneath. I think Raina was a little concerned walking over them so Uncle JR picked her up and floating her over like she was an aeroplane which she enjoyed and was a great ice breaker and introduction to the sometimes quite frightening undersea animal kingdom.

We then had our photo taken, which Raina especially enjoyed doing. Looking across at the teenager taking the photo we didn't have high hopes on the quality, but in reflection the photo actually came out quite amazing. 

Raina enjoyed looking at all the fish especially the penguins, starfish & turtles. She didn't take too kindly to the sharks, however Uncle Jr found it funny scaring her a few times by taking her up real close or pretending he was going to drop her in a tank full of fish. Hey..shes gotta learn some time lol. She would say 'no no no, stop being silly uncle jr'. 

Aunty Lamora took lots of photos of the different types of animals and made sure Raina understood all the different types of animals that were on view. This was a real educational process Raina enjoyed and is sure to remember.

We left the aquarium after 2 hours, which was quick we felt as we anticipated at least 5 hours of fishy fun! That's what happens when you go Sea World in Orlando lol. 

We decided it was time to get some lunch and decided on Bodeans. We wrapped up warm and trying to get Rainas fingers into her gloves was 'fun'. We got on the tube and realised that Raina was tired so Uncle Jr carried her most of the way, Raina only has little legs after all. Once we arrived we chose what we were eating and Raina seemed to be a bit tired. A sip of Uncle Jrs Tango was all she needed to liven her up again. She had a kids size burger and chips, and even still had room for more spare ribs.

The day ended with Mummy & Mamma meeting us at the table, to a well stuffed Raina.
What a day, what an experience!

Uncle Junior and Aunty Lamora

7 Months!

Sorry for not having blogged for a while, life has taken over and we thought we'd  'store up' the updates for a suitable moment.  This seemed to be that suitable moment ; the 7 month mark of being a forever family and since our daughter came home with us. It's also that significant time of year; Christmas.  This time last year, our PAR was almost done (or so we thought) and Approval was going to be early in the New Year.  Then it suddenly seemed to be slowing down again.....but that was the year that was.  You can read all about that time here....

http://timeofrlives.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/can-you-be-too-honest-in-home.html#links

Raina is here; she is here for our first Christmas and nothing else really matters now.

Since our last posting we have met Raina's Birth Parents.  This was a massively emotional meeting and we both felt the pressure beforehand building up.  When the day came, we were both extremely nervous.  It was well coordinated and planned; we had exchanged  questions prior to meeting through our own Social Workers.  We talked for an hour and I've never known both ours and Raina's Social Workers be so quiet in all this time!   It was emotional; everyone shed some tears but overall it was useful, productive and positive for us and for Raina. We closed the meeting by taking photos of us all together and parted with hugs.  The account of the content of this meeting will remain between us until we can share it with Raina when she is old enough.

It left us feeling like we understood Raina better.  We have seen the BP's in photos but seeing them in person presented a completely new dynamic.  Recognising the facial similarities and likenesses with personalities was wonderful.  Raina looks so much like both her BP's.  Seeing where she 'came from' made us both feel like we were connected to Raina in a deeper way.  In the only way they could; her Birth Parents told us that they approved of us; that it was okay for us to love her and call her our 'daughter'.  They clearly love her so deeply and have been at the lowest points since Raina went into Care and a plan for Adoption was made for her.  I can only hope that meeting us might have helped them to find a slightly more positive space to think about Raina's adoption.  We continue to keep them in our thoughts and in our conversations with Raina, in a way in which she can understand.

Last week we had our Civil Partnership. It was a wonderful day; spent amongst our families and friends. It was the perfect ending to the year and the icing on the cake for 2012. We have also completed the Adoption Application and will be sending this off soon.  2013 will be another big year....that's already on the cards!

Happy Christmas!!!

Ruth and Hannah